Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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