My pussy is not your playground.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
