You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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