he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
