At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
