week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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