I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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