She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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