Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize