? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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