Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
