Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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