shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
