Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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