omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
