You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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