i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize