im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
