I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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