Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
