My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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