i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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