1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
