when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
