At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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