she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
