It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
