Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize