Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize