and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
