love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
