Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
