there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
