I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
