at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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