So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize