She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
