There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
