There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want her autograph on my taint
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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