i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
