you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
