My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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