Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm passing your future prison.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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