New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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