I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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