we have pet lesbian snakes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
