That's intense
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
