Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
