tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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