Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
