You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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