I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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