a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i dont even know how to be here
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
