Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
