Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
