"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
