Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We're too hungover to prance.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
