I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
