overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
