Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
