If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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