whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize