2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
