I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
