as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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