reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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