hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
