I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
