it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
