apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
